They lived up at Terrace Lakes. Rick had this boyish smile that always made you want to ask him what he was thinking. I was happy to see that he still had that smile when we met up with him 36 years later. It was almost like we had never missed a day of seeing each other. The visit was easy and it was so nice to catch up. What made me the happiest though, was how obvious it was that he loved his wife and how happy they were together. He told us how he was estranged from his family, and that made me sad. He had an older brother that drowned a few years after I graduated, but his father and a few siblings were still alive. I didn't ask why, but not being close to his family was obviously very hard on him.
I got on Facebook the other morning and started reading all the new posts. There was a status update on his page from his wife saying how sorry she was for his friends and family, but Rick had died the day before. My brain went numb. Rick was a contractor and I thought maybe he had been killed in an accident. I sent a message to his wife and told her how incredibly sorry I was because I knew how much they loved each other. She sent me a message back telling me that Rick had killed himself.
I still can't believe it. I hate suicide. My first husband did the same thing 34 years ago. I just don't understand how people can do that to all the people that love them. He seemed so happy, yet sometimes there can be pain so deep that you get very good at hiding it after having it for so long. I'll never know what caused him to do it, but I'll certainly miss keeping up with him.
My hope for Eileen is that she can someday find peace, keep the wonderful memories, and always know how much Rick loved her.
I'm going to miss you friend. Happy Trails...
5 comments:
I'm sorry sis. I will never understand why, in this day and age with all the therapy and anti-depressants available, someone would choose that option. It is so senseless and sad.
I didn't realize your first husband had committed suicide. One more thing you and Sue have in common.....it is impossible to understand as Kate says.
I'm so sorry, mom. I just can't imagine life getting to that point.
I am just catching up on posts and I read this. I hate suicides. I don't understand. I suffer from clinical depression, too, but to put your family through that anguish. :( And I have known far too many suicides. People who seemed up beat and OK; people who "had it all together" and so on. But we cannot judge the pain we've never felt ourselves.
My heart goes out to the family tonight: like you, I hope they find peace. Sending {{{HUGS}}} to you, too.
That is a beautiful remembrance of Rick. I'm sure he's up there saying "I'm ok, and yes, I'm tippin' a cool one. "
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