Ival and I are critter people. We love having animals around and spending time with them. Ival loves them all - but not me.
Moose is my "sweet baby," the goats are "my boys," the donkeys are "my girls," but the turkeys are "you bastards." Yep, they better taste good this fall.
Now that we have the screen door, I leave the front door open all day. Every few minutes I hear their little feet on my porch. They sit in my swing and chairs, on top of my tables and crap on everything. I put the spray nozzle on the hose about a week ago and started spraying them any time I heard them on the porch. Ival said " they'll learn real quick not to get up here!" Really? They're turkeys. They have a brain the size of a pea.
So, I spend much of my days racing out the door, picking up the hose which I leave about a foot from the front door, and yelling "get off my porch you dirty bastards!" as they're getting hosed down.
Here they are, just waiting for me to go back inside so they can get back up on the porch.