Monday, June 16, 2014

Turning 58...

One more try at blogging on this nasty computer.  It skips about every fourth letter and is incredibly frustrating, but I wanted to remember this - and hope someday my kids will re-read my blogs to remember the things that were important to me.

I don't feel like I've gotten over our trip to Nevada.  Its so frustrating to know that some of dad's things are out there somewhere, and we don't have them.  But I'm grateful for so much and I'll continue working to bring those items home where they belong.

I've been thinking as I get older, how incredibly grateful I am for my mom.  I learned so much from dad while he was here.  How to get the best deal on a vehicle, the kinds of people you can trust, and how to saddle a horse and drive.  There's a lot more - things I didn't realize I was learning at the time, but I now understand.

But mom has been such a strong influence on all of us and I'm so thankful for that.  When we are younger, we don't think we need help. We want to do it all on our own, but later, thankfully, realize that parents can be such a huge help.  I know it was frustrating and heartbreaking for mom to watch us make mistakes, knowing that things could have been done differently.   I often wonder how you have survived us 4 kids!

Mom, I welcome your advice and actually wish you gave it more freely.  I know when I was younger you didn't want to butt in.  But I want you to know that I now am thankful every time you offer it.  You have lived a difficult life and experienced things that I wish you hadn't, but it has made you so tender, loving, giving, and smart.

I don't know anyone who is more generous and thoughtful.  When we struggle you are always there.  You have made me so incredibly proud.  I've always wished I had your grace and dignity.  Although I've found that difficult to obtain, you have taught me to be grateful for what I have, that life is good, and to love and be thankful for the wonderful family and friends I have.

I want you to know mom, that on this birthday, I am so grateful for YOU.  I'm so happy you live so close, that we enjoy each other's company, and that I can talk to you about anything and you will always love me - even though I can sometimes be hard to love.

Thanks for taking on the role of 2 parents and doing so well at it. I hope someday I can be as great an influence on my own kids.

We all love you more than we can ever tell you.  Thanks for always being there.