Mom and I were on our way to a Turner family picnic tonight - driving in her Caddy. She's a beautiful red caddy and mom keeps her spic and span. Until now...
We were driving over the hill when all of a sudden my dear, sweet seventy-something, extremely classy mother excitedly announces, "Oh look, I almost forgot to show you, a bird crapped a fish on my windshield!"
"OH. MY. GOD!"
"You know I can't wash my car now."
"Well, what if you forget and turn your windshield wipers on?"
"I'll have a little awning built for it. Or an umbrella."
"Nope, that won't work. You're going to have to get some of that clear packing tape and put over it and seal it real good around the edges."
"Ok, that'll work."
We then decided it was too bad the bird didn't crap The Virgin Mary or Mickey Mouse. Mom would be rich right now...