Sunday, August 7, 2011

Yep, Time for Another Elmer Post...

I had just walked Jacki out to her car as she was leaving.  As I turned around to go back in the house, I saw Elmer running from the back of the house, swatting his head with his hat and doing quite the "dance."  He'd been in the backyard getting the chicken eggs.

I didn't have to ask, but I did.  "What happened!?"

"God damnit!  I just got stung about 5 times on the ear!  Dirty bastard, that hurts!"

"Oh crap I wish you could have seen yourself!.  That's the funnies damn thing I've seen in a long time!" "Well get in the house and let's look at it."  So we hurried inside and I found a sting on his ear - damn, that had to hurt.  I got out a frozen bag of corn and he wandered around with it for a few minutes.

"I'm running over the hill to get some wasp spray so I can kill those bastards."

When he got home, he sprayed the nest and then started on the outside light fixtures.  I saw some wasps still crawling inside one and asked him if he'd sprayed that one.  He saw the wasp inside the fixture and said he didn't think there was a nest in it.  He then proceeded to walk over and tap on the glass.  What he didn't notice was that there were 4 wasps on the outside of the glass and one nailed him so fast it made my head spin.

"Well you dumb ass, what did you do that for!?"  "Oh shit honey!  You just got it again!"

And he did his wasp sting dance again with the filth pouring out of his mouth, and I tried sooooo hard not to laugh. 

I've laughed about it felt so bad about it all day.  Oh how he entertains me!


Sheri said...

That is hilarious! Why is it that what is so obvious to we woman fold catch our men by surprise??
Poor Ival.....that part is for him in case he reads your blog...

Sheri said...

oops.....should say "women folk" why don't I check these things before I hit publish??

Anonyvox said...

And you're trying to sell me this vermin-infested house?! Sheesh.

Mr Vox is deathly scared of stinging insects. I find it wildly amusing.

Jodi said...

Not vermin infested, just nasty, killer, flying insects! The dirty buggers weren't bad because of the cooler spring, but since it's been hot they've sprung up out of nowhere!

I had an ex-husband like Mr. Vox. Just about put us through the front window of Taco Time once when we had a bee in the car.

kate said...

Yeah Vox, you should totally buy Jodi's house!!! It's a GREAT house, wonderful location (pools! playgrounds! lots of other kids her age! Safe neighborhoods!) and who wouldn't want to raise their child in Pleasantville??

And Jod, this is an awesome story! I can just see Elmer doing the dance! The wasps are especially bad at our house this year too; way more active than in past years. We sprayed those buggers yesterday.

Dee said...

That had to be funny!/sad. But oh boy it does hurt---a hurt like no other.

Your father got stung so many times once, that he then became highly allergic to them. scary.