Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Pack My Bags, or Pack My Shotgun...

You people know how much I love the "oddities" of life.  UFOs,  Bigfoot, ghosts, psychics, Armageddon - I'm sickly fascinated.  However, yesterday I was made aware of something that just floored me.  The Rapture 2011. 

If you too were unaware of this awful predicament that we seem to be in, you can read about it here.  Then, be sure to go to Youtube and do a search for Harold Camping - he's the one predicting the exact date of The Rapture.  He's also asking us to send him all of our money. I'm not sure what he needs it for since he'll probably be first in line to be "taken up" on Saturday but I went ahead and sent him all we have.  I'm sure he'll return it on Sunday if it turns out he was wrong.  He also says that those left here on earth after Saturday will be enjoying 3 months of torture until August 21 when the world will actually be blown into oblivion.

Yes, The Rapture is happening this Saturday.  Thursday and Friday I'm getting ready and hosting the Peace Officers' Memorial Ceremony in Meridian so I really only have today to get this post done.  Why didn't I find out about this earlier?

For those left behind there has been a "post rapture looting" event set up on Facebook - "When everyone is gone and God's not looking, we need to pick up some sweet stereo equipment and maybe some new furniture for the mansion we're going to squat in."

Now, I've never been one to believe in looting - it seems so heathen, but if the chosen ones aren't coming back, then it really isn't looting is it?   

Don't get me wrong, I have a God - however I don't think I fit the criteria that Harold Camping has set forth for those to be "taken up" on Saturday. 

I guess I'd better get my shopping list ready!  What stores will you be hitting and what will you be doing for the last 3 months of your life - assuming you won't be "taken up" on Saturday of course...


kate said...

Hahahaaa!! I love this! What a nutty idea.

Locally, I'll hit:
Huckleberries(food and coffee)
Aunties (my favorite book store)
Nordstroms (I'll need cute shoes!)
REI (survival gear, tents/sleeping bags, gps, a sweet cruiser or two and clothes).

That's all I need! What about you? Who will you be looting?

Dee said...

You sent them all $1.98 ???
What nerve he has asking for everyone's money. Will anyone truly be stupid enough to do that?

Looting list:

Dillards (clothes)
Moxie Java ( lattes and rolls)
Edmark (new car to drive while waiting)
Barnes and Noble(books and games)
El Dorado ( a slot machine for entertainment)

I'm happy with that. Who's next?

Jodi said...

You and your shoes!

My first thought was I'd hit up any farms/ranches with horses. But, I don't know of any farmers/ranchers/horse owners who won't be staying behind. Hence the shotgun.

I'd probably make my way down to Moxi Java and make myself a nice mocha with whipped cream - no extra charge!

I'd also run down to Tate's rents and get me some heavy machinery. I've always wanted to drive a piece of heavy machinery.

And, a big ass tent. Since the house isn't built yet, I'd get us a big ass tent for the property - and run 100 extension cords down to the neighbors so I could steal their power.

Jodi said...

Oh ma, can I come over and play your slot machine?

Anonymous said...

dang it!!! I thought we had till dec 21, 2012.

i quess id hit home depo
smoky davis
always wanted to try out a porshe
maybe haul out some of those bins in winco
and if had enough time drive that porshe down to cali and hit a few medical marjuana shops

Jodi said...

You wouldn't have to drive to California to hit the medical marijuana shops - you could probably just hit your neighbors. Or if not, I know you could hit up MY neighbor!

Casey said...

See, I'm not going to loot any stores. I'm going to loot the homes of those who get caught up to heaven. I'm looking at it like an estate sale, where everything is priced "Help Yourself."

Also, I think we'll make our way up to your place. I'll bring seeds, some goats and a rototiller. And maybe some fence supplies.

Kate, we should get our gay Mormon second husband to come up and join the commune at Jodi's place, huh?

Jodi said...

Awesome Casey! We should have plenty of room in that "big ass" tent I'm pilfering. And yes, I think we definately need Mitch up here - if for nothing else but to give us a laugh every 30 minutes or so.

Can't wait to have you, Matt and Freya spend the last 3 months of our pathetic lives with us.

kate said...

Who's anonymous? Don't ya'll have medical mj stores in Boise? We have (had) one on every block until they all got busted two weeks ago. But they'll be back.

Anna and I will bring some horses. David has plenty of guns.

And yes, we need Mitch. He's a scream.

Jodi said...

IDAHO. We live in Idaho. No medical mj.