Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Is My 17-Year-Old Son Too Old to Spank????

Yesterday I hurt my back. I do this about once every couple of months. Wasn't doing anything exciting, just bent over to pick up some dirty clothes. That's all it takes and then I feel "the twinge" and know I'm in trouble.

It hurts to get up and down, walk, lay down, sit, laugh, cough, or sneeze. So yesterday, my son decided he needed a haircut. Not tomorrow - today. I sent him to get a chair and the clippers and we set up out in the garage. It hurt so bad to stand for very long that I found myself holding the clippers with one hand and leaning on the chair with the other.

I probably could have completed the challenge except for the fact that he screams like a girl if I pull his hair or stab him with the clippers. Things were going fine until I started up the back of his hair and pulled those tiny "baby hairs" you have at the back of your neck.

He let out one of his little girl screams which immediately, without thinking, made me laugh so hard, which then in turn made me jerk my body because it hurt my back so much to laugh. This in turn made me jerk the cord clear out of the wall, and that hurt so bad I dropped the feakin' clippers on the top of my foot which hurt so much that I jerked again, which made me drop to my knees.

By then he was hysterical, laughing so hard at the site of his dear, sweet mother on the floor. We were both laughing hysterically but I really wanted to cry. I finally crawled a few steps over to the chair and pulled myself up, brushed the hair off my clothes, walked into the living room and told Elmer that he was finishing the job.

Good Lord, why would anyone laugh so hard at someone in such pain and in such an undignified position? Where on earth did he learn that...


Casey said...

He's pretty darned lucky you didn't give him a reverse mohawk with all that jerking around.

You sound like you need a muscle relaxer, my dear.

kate said...

Oh my god. I am so, so sorry. Yeah, sorry I wasn't there to laugh at your ass!!!!! *snort*!

PS. I agree with Casey; get yourself some good drugs!

Jodi said...

Well girls, I have some good medications. Actually, I happened to have 2 1/2 vicadin that I had been saving for my next "incident" so yesterday at 4, I took 1/2 a vicadin and a muscle relaxant and slept from 4pm until 6am this morning!

I still have 1/2 of one left that I'm saving for tomorrow morning when I go to see the massage therapist cause I know she's going to hurt me!

And Kate, I thought of you when I was on the ground.

jaci said...

OMG. I would not have a clue where your son learned to laugh at someone like that.

Hope you took that vicodin and you are sleeping right now, dreaming of that massage chair...

Dee said...

I can see that brat laughing at your pain, hear Kate's phony "I'm soooo sorry" snort ! and I think its just WRONG for anyone to do that !
And I don't know where YOU learned it either . snort, giggle, hee haaaw.

Its the entire picture of the "failure to trim" that is funny, cuz in reality, I've had my back spasm so many times and know how much it hurts.
Hope Nicole HEALS you.