Airport Security Solution...

Now this is funny! Thanks, mom...

I TRY to be Sympathetic, Really...

I've watched this commercial a million times. However, I just realized - THIS. IS. ME.

Does a former drill sergeant make a good therapist? I must have been one in a past life because this is what you'll get if you ask me to "help" you with a problem. I really don't like this in me. But, well, those of you I've "helped", I'm sorry...



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Tissue?

Is My 17-Year-Old Son Too Old to Spank????

Yesterday I hurt my back. I do this about once every couple of months. Wasn't doing anything exciting, just bent over to pick up some dirty clothes. That's all it takes and then I feel "the twinge" and know I'm in trouble.

It hurts to get up and down, walk, lay down, sit, laugh, cough, or sneeze. So yesterday, my son decided he needed a haircut. Not tomorrow - today. I sent him to get a chair and the clippers and we set up out in the garage. It hurt so bad to stand for very long that I found myself holding the clippers with one hand and leaning on the chair with the other.

I probably could have completed the challenge except for the fact that he screams like a girl if I pull his hair or stab him with the clippers. Things were going fine until I started up the back of his hair and pulled those tiny "baby hairs" you have at the back of your neck.

He let out one of his little girl screams which immediately, without thinking, made me laugh so hard, which then in turn made me jerk my body because it hurt my back so much to laugh. This in turn made me jerk the cord clear out of the wall, and that hurt so bad I dropped the feakin' clippers on the top of my foot which hurt so much that I jerked again, which made me drop to my knees.

By then he was hysterical, laughing so hard at the site of his dear, sweet mother on the floor. We were both laughing hysterically but I really wanted to cry. I finally crawled a few steps over to the chair and pulled myself up, brushed the hair off my clothes, walked into the living room and told Elmer that he was finishing the job.

Good Lord, why would anyone laugh so hard at someone in such pain and in such an undignified position? Where on earth did he learn that...

The Maine Troop Greeters...

My son Jake called me this morning to tell me he was leaving Mississippi for his deployment to Iraq. It was a hard phone call to receive. It was one thing to know that he was still on American soil, even though he'd been gone for 2 months, but to know he was going to be leaving the country was hard, even though I knew it was coming.

I was happy to see a quick post on Facebook where he mentioned being at the Bangor, Maine Airport and the Maine Troop Greeters. I had never heard of this so I Googled it to see what it was all about. Here's what I found...

"The Maine Troop Greeters organization has been greeting troops at Bangor International Airport since May, 2003. Men, women and children, veterans and civilians alike, gather at the airport at all hours of the day and night to ensure that each troop flight receives a warm welcome to our area."

Several years ago, PBS did a wonderful documentary about this group called "The Way We Get By." I hope you can take a few minutes and visit the link and watch the trailer. You'll also want to view the "Cast" of the documentary - what a wonderful group of selfless people these are. They have been through so much in their own lives but choose to take such good care of our troops.

I hope you find this information as fascinating as I have.

Thank you Maine Troop Greeters, for making our troop's last few minutes on American soil, and their first few minutes back, so meaningful. It warmed my heart to know that you made my son smile today...

Spam and Poptarts...

I love cruises. I mean I REALLY love cruises. I've been on 6 of them and loved every minute of every one. I love the fact that you have a room but end up somewhere new every day. I love sitting on the balcony watching the ocean go by, drinking coffee in the morning.



The food is soooooooo good. You can eat 24 hours a day for 7 days. Room service is free if you decide at 2 am (ok, I'm never awake at 2 am on a cruise or anywhere else) that you're hungry. If you want 3 lobster tails instead of 1 for dinner, it's yours. Generally, most cruise ships have a "chocolate extravaganza" once during the trip. Chocolate desserts of every kind you can imagine.

The last cruise we went on even had artists from the Corning Museum who did 3 shows a day on glass blowing. I went to at least one show a day and sometimes all three. There are wonderful Broadway-type shows, Bingo games every day, and the casino. Looooove the casino!

So, why am I telling you all of this? Well, I'm sure you've heard about the Carnival cruise ship that has been sitting "dead in the water" for the last several days. Families were shown, looking forlorn, standing on the edge of the ocean, gazing out to sea, hoping their family members aboard the ship would make it home safe.

Whaaa, Whaaa. What the hell???? These people are on a cruise ship for crying out loud! If I'm going to be "stuck" somewhere - I certainly wouldn't feel too bad if it was on a cruise ship. Then I found out...



those poor bastards are being fed spam and poptarts. Now that's just not right. AND, they have no electricity which means - no casino, no coffee. Now that's just crap.

GET THOSE POOR PEOPLE HOME NOW!

The Driver's License...

I got my driver's license at 14. We were living in Garden Valley - no stop lights, I think there were two or three stop signs, no parallel parking, no traffic. It was safe (although I did run off the road several times when it snowed).


Things have changed. Adam took driver's training last fall and easily passed his driving test. Excited, we ran the next day for him to take his written test. FAIL. That's all it took. After many months, he was finally ready to try studying for it again, so yesterday I helped him study then said "Come on, we're going to take your test."

"NO WAY! I'll fail again!"

"Get your shoes on, we're going right now!"

So, mama always wins (ok, I rarely win but I did this time!) and off we went. Filled out all the paperwork (again), paid the fee (again) and off he went to the computer. He whispers to me "Do you think there's any way you can somehow sneak me the answers?" (Did anybody see the Spongebob episode where Patrick the starfish had a walky talky and Spongebob had the other one under his hat and Patrick fed Spongebob all the correct answers so he could pass his boating exam? I didn't think so).

After about 15 minutes he stood and I mouthed to him "No good?" He didn't crack a smile so I thought we were headed home again. He nonchalantly says, "I got 100." What the hell!

I must admit, I'm pretty proud of the Skunk Killer aka Elmer Jr. So, now he'll be driving himself to his Fish and Game class every day. That's the reason he REALLY wanted his license. Evidently, "the bus is full of morons who act like they're 12."



He's also, for the very first time in his life getting almost straight A's. Yep. He started taking a Fish and Game class this year through Boise High (it's actually wildlife biology and ecology) and loves it. He wants to get the best grades in his class, he wants to learn everything he can about it, and he finds learning about wildlife and their habitat absolutely fascinating. He's finally decided that the next two year's grades are going to be very important to getting into college so he can be a Game Warden.

And our buddy Matt here started it all when he took Adam out for a day to find out what a Game Warden does.


Grampa Pogue would be so proud...

I need to get him out for a ride-along during hunting season. Guess it's time to call Matt again!