Our New Additions, Donkeys!

We went out to see the 2 mini donkeys that will be coming to live with us the end of April.  They are just adorable!

I've always loved miniature horses but they bite and kick.  These little girls absolutely LOVE people, even kids.  The kids were all over them and the donkeys followed them everywhere.  You couldn't ask for better friends for our grandkids.

Our friends Rod and Kathy wanted to get some to pull a cart for events in Hidden Springs and we told them that we'd love to keep them here.  So, Monday we start building the fence and the oldest of the 2 they're buying is currently 'getting lucky' so we'll have a baby next spring which Rod and Kathy are giving to us.

I can't wait to get them here and show all the grandkids how to brush them, feed them, and take care of them.  The current owners told us we can let them out of the corral when we're outside and they'll follow us all around just like dogs.  How fun will that be!

I'm excited!

The Saddle...

Well, here it is.  It's pretty rough, needs the sheepskin underneath replaced and a little bit of stitching re-done.  It also needs some oil.  I can't find a maker's mark on it anywhere.  The name of the people mom sold it to is stamped underneath and I can see the word HULE tooled into the leather but other than that, I can't find anything.

I'm going to see if one of dad's old friends can look at it and see if he remembers it.  I'm not sure why, but I have a feeling this was dad's saddle.  I guess I'm going to have to do some sleuthing!  It's very plain and basic, kind of what I remember and I can't imagine dad having anything different.

I ended up payiing $300.  My friend Schanen went with us and said that was a fair price.

Thanks Schanen, for going with us and for helping me.  It was great to have you along for this rather emotional experience.

A Random Act of Kindness, For a Soldier He Never Met...

Today something happened to me that I can hardly believe.  Small, in it's own way, yet it meant more to me than I can ever say.

We have a gentleman about my age that comes in to the Merc every once in a while.  A nice enough man, yet rather quiet and a bit grumpy looking most often.  Today he came in and went into the back room and sat down.  I took him his water and asked if he wanted some lunch.  He said he wouldn't be eating and sat and read.  I went back a bit later and noticed a box he had laying on the table.  In it was a brand new motorized helicopter.  I said, "You bought a new toy!" and he responded saying that he thought he could work it since it only required that you be 14+ to run it.

We started talking about it and I told him that I watch a show called "Inside Combat Rescue" on the National Geographic channel.  It's one of the shows I can't bring myself to watch yet because Adam and I always watched it together.  I told him about the medics on the show and how they fly those remote controlled helicopters in the building where they work when they have down time.  I mentioned that I have a son in Afghanistan and that I had thought, while watching that show, about sending one to him for HIS down time.

He looked and me and scooted the box across the table.  "Send him this one."

I about died.  First off, that hadn't crossed my mind.  "Oh no!  I can't do that."

"Really, send him this one."

I told him how nice that was, but that I could buy one and send it to Jake.

He picked up the box and handed it to me.  "Really, I want you to have this one to send to your son.  Tell him Thank You."

Wow.  I took the box and told him how much I appreciated it.  I walked away thinking what that had done for me.  I've never had anyone do something like that.  He didn't really know me.  He doesn't know my son. Yet he touched me in a way I will always remember.

As he got ready to leave, I walked up to him and said, "I want you to know that I will never forget what you did today."

He smiled and again said, "Just tell him thank you."

I paid for his coffee and muffin, it was the least I could do.  I will send the helicopter and a letter explaining how this all happened to Jake this week.  I know Jake, he'll leave this act of kindness for other soldiers to enjoy when he comes home in October.

This wonderful man will never know how he affected me today.  A random act of kindness, for a soldier he has never met.  Thank you.  Thank you for letting me know that my son and the other soldiers, mean as much to you as they do to me.

Coming Along!

So we're making progress on the barn, in fact, it should be done this week!  We can't wait to get the remainder of our things our of storage and have all of our stuff in one place again.

We have a rooster pheasant that has found us.  He's beautiful and not at all afraid.  He's also looking for a girlfriend but I think we'll have to go buy him one or two.  He lives down in the big bush in one of our fields and comes every morning to eat the seed that has dropped out of the feeders.

Linda, Nancy and I went "junking" on the 40 acres Linda used to live on.  It literally "littered" with old stuff.  Mostly rusty old stuff but we've had fun and added a bunch of things we'll sell during our first annual farm sale later this spring.  Old WWII ammo boxes, the complete fan off of an old windmill, old tool boxes that will be wonderful planted with flowers, an old wheelbarrow, and other misc. things that we hauled home.

I just couldn't resist this picture of Linda with the title in the background.  Sorry sister!  I love you!

We Almost Have a Barn!

Friday they started the barn.  Woo hoo!  They said it should only take a little over a week to finish it.  Woo hoo again!

I've been too embarrassed to show you, but before we cart all the crap off the back porch to the barn, I'll take a picture.  It's awful!  We can't wait to get the rest of our stuff out of storage, and I can't wait to get the full body bear mount out of our bedroom and into the barn!

Oh heck, here it is, in all it's glory.  Here in a week or two this will all be usable space!

and, we got some awesome patio furniture for a GREAT price from a friend who's moving up north for grad school.  A 12 piece furniture set, a 9-ft long teak table with 6 chairs, a 4-piece white wicker set, and a hammock.  Can't wait to get the porch all fixed up!

Adam's Going Away Party...

On Sunday, April 24th we had a little going away party for Adam before he left for basic training.  I shouldn't say little, especially with all of little people we have around now, our get togethers are no longer small!

I thought I got a lot more pictures than this.  Does anyone else have any?  I sure miss this guy already...

Albino Deer...

After all these years of watching for the albino deer in our area, I finally saw it this morning.  How cool is this!

Dad's Saddle...

I'm feeling ever so much better!  Today Linda and I went and bought some "old rusty junk" from a gal in Eagle.  We'll be having a big farm sale later this spring - can't wait!

Yesterday, a guy from Hidden Springs that I just love came in to the Merc while I was working.  He's retired from the BLM wild horse program.  He asked if we had come to the Merc Saturday night for the Cowboy Poetry fundraiser for the old farmstead.  I said I hadn't and he went on to say that Sam Mattise, the cowboy poet was also retired from BLM and lives just around the corner and down the hill a bit from our house.  Sam had asked Jim if he knew who had built the house on Cartwright.  Jim told him and said, "I think you knew her dad."

They started talking and Sam mentioned that he had borrowed a saddle from another BLM guy for the cover of his new CD "If Old Saddles Could Talk."  He then went on to say that the saddle on the cover of his CD belonged to dad.  I don't know if dad gave the saddle to the guy from BLM or if he bought it, but I couldn't believe it.

As kids, we all played on that saddle as it sat on an old sawhorse in our garage in Garden Valley.  We all have very fond memories of that wonderful saddle.

I emailed Sam and he gave me Steve's email address.  I sent him a message and asked if it would be possible to come and see the saddle and take some pictures.  I haven't heard back yet, but I'm hoping he'll be willing to allow us to do that.  I will also be sure to tell him that if he ever decides to sell it, I hope he'll allow the Pogue family first option to buy it.  How awesome is that?!

We think this is it...

It's Time For Some Changes...

Over the last several weeks I've been taking serious stock of my life and have decided that I desperately need to make some changes.  I've been holding so much anger and hostility inside about several issues and I've decided I need to either let them go or fix them quickly so that I can become the person I used to be.

I've looked back at my older blog posts.  I loved those days and I hate who I have become.  I know that even my own family doesn't want to be around me.

I'm extremely frustrated about Jake and the situation he and his family is in.  I have to realize that it will be over in October.  I will now look forward to that month and continue to send packages hoping that in some small way they will make a difference and make the time pass easier for him.

I am so extremely pissed about the Peace Officers' Memorial.  I resigned from the Board last spring because Idaho State Police has decided that since we couldn't find the original paperwork giving the site to us, that it will never belong to us and that if they ever decide that they need that property "the Memorial will be moved at the expense of the Idaho Peace Officers' Memorial Fund."  I have to decide if I want to go to the Governor and the media with this information and see if I can get this changed or if I want to let it go and hope that when I'm gone, someone else will lay in front of the crane so that the Memorial stays where it was built.  I'm beginning to think the latter will be more healthy for me.

I have absolutely got to get back to doing things I have always loved.  I live in my dream home, married to a man that thankfully gets me - and is willing to put up with the person I have become over the last year.  I have to change that because he deserves better.

So, I'm thinking that Linda and I need to start hitting a few auctions, yard sales and estate sales.  I want to start buying and selling again.  I have the perfect place to have a couple of yearly farm sales and I really want to do that.  I'm going to dig out my cross stitch and finish that pin-up cowgirl I started.

I want to focus on the good because I have so much of it in my life.  I have a mother that I adore, sisters that crack me up and make me laugh, a brother that means the world to me, in-law kids that are wonderful to my kids who I absolutely love with all my heart.

I'm going to really look forward to my trip to Nevada with mom in March (woo hoo!), having Kevin and Meghan and their kids come out from Missouri in July, and just loving my life.

Bear with me because believe me, I don't like this person any more than you do.  I believe I'm on my way though because as Dr. Phil says, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge" and "So how's that workin' for ya?"

I Can Feel It...

and I don't like it.  The feeling of being on the verge of tears at any moment.  You know how I don't cry so it's a terrible feeling.

I'll have half the amount of laundry to do and half the house cleaning to do.  That seems little comfort.

I know I'll be ok because I've been through this before.  It is survivable, but that doesn't seem to make it any easier.

I'm going to miss hearing Adam ask me to make his coffee because "it doesn't taste as good when I make it."     I'm going to miss his jokes, his teasing, his freaking awesome sense of humor.  I hate thinking about someone else yelling at my son for 12 weeks.  I hate that the most.  I hate that he won't call every day or be able to email.  I hate that my son has grown up.

Yet - I love that my son has grown up.  He's such a wonderful young man filled with hope and dreams that I didn't know if he would have when he was going through high school.  He never felt like he was "smart" enough to do anything with his life.  I take the blame for that.  I didn't realize it at the time, but when I was partying with cancer when he was 8 and 9, he was falling behind in math.  He was never able to catch up.  But, he now feels like he can not only get through boot camp, but also start college when he gets home.  He's a good boy and I know he's going to be an awesome man.

I also feel bad that Jake is gone and that worries me too.  Not a day comes and goes without thinking about it.  Hating it.  Yet I remind myself that things could be worse.  I know they could.

So, I try to think of spring and nicer weather.  Try to think of things I can do for the next 4 months that Adam is gone, and the next 8 months that Jake is gone.  Things to fill my time.  Maybe I'll take a road trip in the spring.  I'll be ok, I know I will - but I did take the last week of this month off to spend time with Adam before he leaves on March 4th - and to cry if I need to, and if I can.