An Old Favorite from 2009...

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Lecture...

Ok, after all of you told me how I'd brought my domestic problems with Elmer Fudd and Jr. on myself, I decided you were right and that it was time for a Family Meeting. First, I carefully crafted a list so that I wouldn't forget ANYTHING they do that pisses me off. Then, under the influence of drugs (I have a very bad head cold) I decided to sit them down for a talk.

I called the meeting to order and started out...

"Now that I'm working again, I've decided that I don't have the time for, or the interest in, being a maid any longer. It's time we stop living like pigs so here's what we're going to do."

Jr. is snickering...

"From now on, if you use the last of the toilet paper, I want you to put a new roll on. That doesn't mean set a roll on the old roll. That means, take off the old roll and put the new one on with the paper coming over the top."

Jr. - NO WAY! That means I'd have to touch the paper! (if you missed it, you must read Life's Oddities to understand why this is a problem).

"I'm sorry son, you see, I'm not giving you a choice. If I find an empty toilet paper roll still on the holder, all of the toilet paper will be removed from the house. Now I just really don't think you're going to like that. Next, when you take your socks off, please make sure they're not in a ball so that they can be washed properly. Otherwise, you'll receive them the same way and they won't be dry."

Jr. is snickering again... Elmer finally chimes in "You better quit laughing, your mother is serious"

I ignore him and go on "I'm going to buy another laundry hamper. Anything I find on the bedroom or bathroom floor will go into a garbage bag and will be donated once a week to a worthy cause."

Jr. - "NO WAY! We pay good money for our stuff. You can't just give it away!"

"Like hell I can't. I don't care if it's clothes, your IPOD, or your best friend. If it's on the floor for more than 24 hours, it's going away."

Elmer hasn't said anything other than the few words he said to Jr.

"And, from now on, since dad cooks dinner, I'll continue to put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher. But if you go get a drink, or fix something to eat, or dirty a fork, put your own dishes in the dishwasher."

Jr. - "Well what if we forget?"

"If you forget, the dirty item will go into the bag to be donated and pretty soon, we won't have any dishes or silverware left."

Jr. - "Mom, what's going on with you? Home come you're acting like this?"

"Because son, it's time you learned that your mother is not your maid and you need to become a productive member of this family." (that was a good thing to say wasn't it!)

"So, that's it. See those clothes on the fireplace hearth? You have until 12:14 tomorrow to remove them and put them away - where they belong."

Jr. - "What if I forget?"

"Well, I suppose by the time you're down to one shirt, a pair of socks and pants, and if you're lucky, a pair of underwear, then you'll probably remember."

So, we all went our separate ways. Later in the afternoon, I walked into the garage and Elmer was standing there.

"I feel so crappy, I just realized I haven't even combed my hair today."

Elmer - "It's okay, it was very effective for the lecture..."

Looking Back...

My friend Sheri mentioned the other day that she was re-reading some of my old blog posts so I thought I'd take a few days and post some of my favorites. I loved this one...

 

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Look at This!!!!

Mom and I were on our way to a Turner family picnic tonight - driving in her Caddy. She's a beautiful red caddy and mom keeps her spic and span. Until now...

We were driving over the hill when all of a sudden my dear, sweet seventy-something, extremely classy mother excitedly announces, "Oh look, I almost forgot to show you, a bird crapped a fish on my windshield!"




"OH. MY. GOD!"

"You know I can't wash my car now."

"Well, what if you forget and turn your windshield wipers on?"

"I'll have a little awning built for it. Or an umbrella."

"Nope, that won't work. You're going to have to get some of that clear packing tape and put over it and seal it real good around the edges."

"Ok, that'll work."

We then decided it was too bad the bird didn't crap The Virgin Mary or Mickey Mouse. Mom would be rich right now...

Owyhee Mountain Day Trip...

Nancy and I headed out last Tuesday to travel the Owyhee Upland Backcountry road.  I had heard dad talk about the roads in the Owyhees so we were prepared.  However, we discovered that the road for this trip was more like a freeway - minus the traffic.  Obviously, dad spent more time on the side roads as this was very well maintained for us sissies.  While you could safely travel 30 mph on this road, we discovered we were traveling an average of 10 mph because we stopped so many times.

It was incredibly beautiful in a way that's hard to describe.  I've always loved the mountains and this was totally different.  Gnarly old Juniper trees, deep canyons with crystal clear streams, and stands of aspen in unexpected places.

So here, in pictures, is our trip in order as we left Jordan Valley until we got to Grandview...

 

Someone took a lot of time to hike through the rattlesnake infested desert, up these cliffs to build this rock formation.  Or, was it aliens...

 

 

I was fascinated by the beautiful moss growing on all the trees...

This was the coolest fence, I think we need to build one!

 

In several places they had been thinning the Juniper as they evidently tend to take over.  However, we got to a spot where these HUGE junipers in a swatch about 1/4 mile wide had evidently blown over.  Not a one standing.  There must have been one hell of a windstorm through there.  Or, was it aliens...

We did take one side road trying to find Little Jacks Creek.  That's where I understood dad saying that the roads were horrible.  We bounced out of our seats but came across this badger running down the road in front of us.  He was too stupid to run into the brush and he stayed on the road for quite a long time.

The closest thing we could find to Mt. Rushmore...

 Our last stop, an old cemetery.

 

I had never understood why dad loved the desert so much until this trip.  It was spectacular and I highly recommend it if you want to get out and see some of the beauty of Idaho.

 

Owyhee Backcountry Byway - Road Trip!

Last spring I watched a segment on Outdoor Idaho about a really great day trip called the Owyhee Backcountry Byway.  I decided after seeing the show, that was a trip I wanted to take.  I had originally talked to Linda about grabbing Nancy and heading out, but since Chawley and Lola (I've decided I'm going to call her Lola, cause that's CLOSE to Lala, her nickname and I love that show) left Idaho, then it was on to Plan B.

So, Tuesday Nancy and I are heading out on this day-long road trip into the Owyhees.  We drive to Jordan Valley, Or where we take off on a dirt road for about 100 miles before hitting the highway back in Grandview, Idaho.

Nancy's picking me up by 6am and we'll head out hoping to hit Jordan Valley about daylight and catch some antelope.

I'm excited to take my new camera (have I mentioned how much I love that thing!).  We're taking blankets, plenty of food and water. 

Here are some pictures of the area...

 

 

I'm really looking forward to this trip.  I'm sure it will give me a better understanding of dad's love for the Owyhees and I love the high desert.  If we're not home by 10pm, you know where to send the Calvary!

In Keeping With My Annual Tradition, Happy First Day of Fall!

 

I hope you're enjoying a beautiful day!