Evidently, I Need To Double My Dose Of Happy Pills...

After all, I've CHOSEN to live with Elmer Fudd for the last 22 years. I shouldn't expect a lady's man like, say, Mel Gibson.

This post is the final post of the dreaded skunk story. This skunk, has gotten into our hen house and killed all but one of our wonderful chickens. We found him out there in the middle of the night several times and Elmer and Adam tried shooting him with the pellet gun (only after my INSTANCE that Elmer not use the machine gun or bazooka at those hours). But, that old skunk had some tough hide and obviously a lot of chutzpa as he kept returning for more.

So, Elmer tried snaring him with no luck. Finally, he decided to use a leg trap. I hated that thought but it seemed to only way to get rid of him.

Yesterday morning, Elmer came into the house proudly proclaiming he had caught the marauder. So, being an actual hour of the day when people were awake and wouldn't think we were suddenly having drive-by shootings in wonderful Hidden Springs, I allowed him to use the .22 to put the skunk out of his misery. Elmer had to get to work so the skunk stayed in the henhouse.

When Elmer got home, I asked him to take the skunk away - it smelled bad, but he informed me that Adam wanted to be home for the event, so we waited until 7:00 so Elmer Jr. could join in the joyous event of removing the dead skunk.

Here's Elmer Jr. He's holding his breath in preparation of removing the body... I'm so darned proud.

Ok, he's REALLY going in, just one more big breath...He was so excited to particiapte he didn't even change from his work clothes. I think they may have to go in the trash. The dogs were excited to see what had been smelling so bad all day. But what a monster!
Yes sir, we've got us a trophy...

So really, what was so bad about that? Well, I'm fixin' to tell ya...

After holding my breath and taking the above pictures, I went back in the house and worked on some laundry. After about 15 minutes, I realized the two Elmers hadn't come back inside, and the house was being permeated by skunk smell. OH DEAR GOD.

I stepped into the garage and was greeted by an stench I had NEVER before smelled, and we grew up in Garden Valley where we woke to the smell of skunk many, many, many mornings. The conversation went something like this except I have cleaned up some of the foul language that flew out of my mouth - and I DO MEAN it was flying!

"IVAL, what are you doing?" I can't see him, but I know it's not good. I creep around the side of the truck and see him kneeling on the ground. "I thought you were going to haul that skunk away!"

Elmer Jr. proudly proclaims, "That was a NICE skunk! We're skinning him."

"OH NO YOU'RE NOT! Get that skunk out of here right now! The neighbors are going to be so mad. You've stunk up the whole niehgborhood. Why does it smell like that? That's not regular skunk smell, that's ten times as bad. What is that? If you skin that skunk you're going to cut those smell glands."

Proudly, Elmer Jr. proclaims, "Yep, he did."

"What the hell? It smells so bad out here that none of the neighbors can be outside. WHAT were you thinking? I swear to God that's got to be the stupedist thing you've ever done! Stop what you're doing and get that damn skunk out of here."

All the while, the only thing Elmer has said (although the words were flying out of my mouth so fast he probably didn't have a chance to say anything) was "Oh, it's not that bad."

Just then, a neighbor wandered over and said, "You know, you're not real popular in the neighborhood right now." So I started in with her as well, the words flying out of my mouth faster than I've ever talked "I TOLD him that! Stupid! That was just a stupid thing for him to do! I'm so sorry! He's going to load that skunk in the truck right now and take it out of here! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!.."

So, Elmer and Jr. loaded the skunk up and took him down the hill. The house stinks, the neighborhood stinks, the whole situation stinks. In fact, I was just out in the front yard with the puppy and two neighbor ladies walked by.

"We heard the skunk story from last night."

Oh dear God, the neighbors all know.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, his days of hunting in the yard are over." I hung my head and slithered into the house.

I'm glad hunting season is here so he can get out and actually kill something that I don't have to be a part of. His friends, Pat and Nate, are in HUGE trouble for teaching him how to trap...