I always think about how women in the SCAR project are so brave to "bear it all." I wish I could do this. I also wish this woman (soldier) were on the cover of Time Magazine instead...
Which do YOU think deserves the cover of Time? You can read about this brave soldier here.
Weirdo vs. Warrior....easy pick for me!
ReplyDeleteI agree completely; the soldier should be on the cover.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for attachment parenting, but once they're old enough to ask for it, I say it's time to turn off the faucet!
I agree with you both. asking--too old.
ReplyDeleteand to put that as a cover , someone had an agenda and it was misguided.
The unfortunate part is that this has even grossed out the people who whole heartedly support breast feeding and shines a bad light on those who believe in the cause. Sad.
ReplyDeleteSo this poor kid is going to be on a shrinks couch in 20 years, with a serious odiepeus complex!
ReplyDeleteSo I get to be the dissenting vote? COOL. I am an advocate of attachment parenting. I totally support the choice. I even planned to go down that road with both of my kids. Unfortunately for my plans, Arwen self-weaned at 13 months and Levi refused the breast at 8 month (preferring - OMG!!! The BOTTLE!). I had a devil of a time weaning him from a bottle at 3 years of age
ReplyDeleteThe photo was meant to startle people. Didn't gross me out because I understand the marketing end of it.
Anyway... I am your sole dissenter. And I know you love me anyway!
Why, I do believe that child IS getting "real" organic milk. And Halia was 9 months old when she began asking for it, was she too old then?I think people are grossed out by that photo because in our society breasts = sex and therefore there is something perverted about extended breastfeeding. Was the cover inflammatory & sensationalized? Without a doubt, but it's not wrong, unhealthy, or any of the nasty things that are being said about it. It's ironic you suggested a cancer story take it's place because extended breastfeeding has been proven to lower not only the risk of breast cancer, but also ovarian cancer and osteoporosis. Halia still asks for milkies, much, I'm sure, as Grace asked for her mimi until well past the age of 3. Nursing is comfort & nutrition. I see nothing wrong with that. If this kid was drinking cow's milk from a sippy cup we wouldn't think twice of it. But somehow drinking human milk from his mother is outlandish and freakish. It really doesn't make any sense to me, though I understand that it is not for everyone. But none of the experts say this is harmful, rather that it's healthy. The WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years and "thereafter as long as mutually desired by mother and child."
ReplyDeleteNo, this grosses me out because I do believe that this woman wouldn't say no if the kid was 12. Even 6 when they're going to school is just past what "I" believe is "acceptable." Now I know that everyone has their own ideas of what is "acceptable" or "normal" and that's what makes life so interesting. But for a mother to think at age 6 (when her child obviously remembers for the rest of her life!) being breast fed, well - that's weird. And yes Jaci and Heather, I'm glad we can all have our own opinions and still love eachother!
ReplyDeleteI suppose I should mention too, that I was a rebel at one time! Adam slept in bed with us for many years, as did Grace. Heather, remember how horrified you were that Grace slept with us? Just another form of attachment parenting. Most of my family was appalled. When it was time to get him into his own bed, I realized it was ME who was having a hard time with the change, not him. It was comforting to ME. I think the same is true for extended nursing. Just my 2 cents!
ReplyDeleteWhaaaaaaaaatttttt? I think you are thinking of Pam. I was never horrified that you bed shared with Grace. I did that with her as well.
ReplyDeleteI definitely think the perception of what breastfeeding looks like for older children is vastly different than what it is. It's not like this 3-year-old is sucking all the time or even every day. And the nursing is spread out even more as they get older. I remember being 5 and asking for a bottle, just because for some reason I felt I needed it. It had been so long since I'd had one my dad went to the store & bought one. I took a little sip & felt so much better. Never asked for it again. I imagine that her breastfeeding at that age was a similar experience, not something she needed mom to make an extra trip to school for.
Now, I could never see myself doing something like that at that age but I'm not about to make that mom feel bad for that parenting choice. A lot of moms in my circle of friends think that remembering breastfeeding is actually very sweet. To each their own... But our culture in many ways shames breastfeeding mothers, and I think that's wrong. You can have an opinion, even a really different one, & that's okay. But I don't think it's nice to insult or shame a certain aspect of a parenting style no matter what it is. Not just directing at you, there has been a lot said about this topic by a lot of people!
As for holding onto something because the PARENT has a hard time letting go, well... That's murky. You do & did what you thought was best. The next step is checking yourself & your kid to see if they are ready for the next step (cow's milk, their own bed, the potty chair), and lovingly encouraging independence at their comfort level. Halia fully weaned at 21 months but would have gone longer if I let her. She also falls right asleep in her own bed for naps and bedtime & we have never had to let her cry it out. Her bed is still attached to ours & she'll crawl over when she wakes up in the middle of the night. But this works (for now!) and we all love it. I daresay that Adam is no worse for the wear having coslept with you for as long as he did. :)
I hope I wasn't making fun on anyone with this post. I know what it's like to be judged. When I was going through chemo and had no hair, I can't tell you how many times I would stand in a store or at a counter and have employees look at me and move on because I wasn't "pretty." I also look just like that soldier in the picture and if I don't wear my fake boobs, people stare. I am judged every single day for the way I look. I have learned that I have to be able to laugh at myself otherwise I would spend time crying and hating life. But, life is good and I'm glad we can all have opinions and be ok with differences.
ReplyDeleteWow...I'm actually kind of shocked you were treated that way. I don't know a single woman who hasn't been affected by breast cancer at some point, whether it wss a cancer scare herself (I found a lump when I was 19 and had to have an ultrasound), or someone they know and loved (my Grandma had one breast removed and mom had an early stage cancer in her breast as well). The judgment you received was totally wrong. Likewise, judgment about nursing past a certain age (like telling a mom she should stop, go somewhere else, cover up, etc.) is equally wrong in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteGlad we can all talk about this! As I have every intention of nursing your grandson for as long as I can and as long as he wants it.
I just saw the rest of the comments; Jod, I'm glad you've come to realize you DEFINITELY practiced attachment parenting with Adam! You might not have called it that or believed that you were participating in AP, but that's what it was/is. And yes, it's super beneficial to both him and you. I seem to remember I got A LOT of shit for natural childbirth and nursing for so long (18 months I think...) and co-sleeping. Bottom line is that each parent does what she believes in her heart to be the right thing for her own child and her own family. And they grow up fine...just FINE!
ReplyDeleteAlso, that appalls me that you have been judged and "overlooked" because you weren't traditionally pretty. I'd vote for you over some fake-tanned, fake boobs, fake teeth blonde bimbo any day. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and to me, there is NOTHING more beautiful than a real woman who has faced a serious life-challenge and come out the other side, better and stronger. YOU are my hero, sister.