Every night, Elmer thinks he's taken care of the problem and so after they come to eat and he's safely locked them into the pen, he walks into the house with "Well those little bastards aren't gettin' out tonight! If they aren't there in the morning, I'm gonna shoot em all!"
Sure you are Elmer...
So, they come every night to eat and a few nights ago, I got some pretty cute pictures...
They've also been making regular visits to a few of the neighbors. One sees them regularly on her trellis. In fact, the other night one of the neighbors paid us a visit.
"Just wanted to let you know your raccoons were on our patio the other night. They're pretty cute. They were out there eating the cat food we leave out for the wild cat but when they were done eating, they all came to the screen door and were standing up looking in the living room. It was so cute I went and woke up my daughters so they could see. We watched them for quite a while until they decided to jump up on our hot tub and started tearing up the cover."
Holy crap...
"So I went and got the hose and thought I'd chase them away by squirting them but it didn't scare them at all. They just stood up on their hind legs and were playing with the water! I couldn't be mad at 'em cause they were so cute!"
All I could do was picture them standing there on two legs while he's squirting them with the hose. Standing there with bars of soap scrubbing under their arms...
Ok, so we have a new plan for tonight. Elmer is having his shop make a "tunnel" out of sheet metal that will fit between the pen and the henhouse. I'm just not sure how long the neighbors will think they're "cute".
Time for the teenagers to be grounded...
Oh, sure they're cute but you have set loose evil nocturnal monsters.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone ever been ejected from this lovely community?
City Council: Yer outta here, and take yer damn raccoons with you!"
OMG! We could be the first people ever asked/told to leave!
ReplyDeleteIt would come out in one of those special emails - "Town Council Special Announcement - The Turner's have been evicted from Hidden Springs. Bring your tar and feathers and help us escort them out! Be sure to save your spot along Hidden Springs drive so you can heckle them. All their critters and their big-ass ugly black bbq will be accompanying them down the road. Replays will be shown on the big screen at the Merc immediately following their departure and hot dogs and hamburgers will be served."
Hahahaaa!!! Jodi, I LOVE that visual!! "And don't forget to take your top-hat wearing, swearing, stumbling brother with you!" Frankly, I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet. I think they just keep you guys around for pure entertainment.
ReplyDeleteAbout the raccoons: am I the only one who sees the irony in all this?? Last year Elmer was out every night with his gun, trying to scare AWAY a raccoon. And now he's trying to KEEP these raccoons in their pen. If there is a God, he is laughing his ass of right now.
Great visual, Jodi. And Kate, I agree with your realization of the irony in this long episode of frustration for Elmer.----and now neighbors.
ReplyDeleteYep, life at the Turner house. A never-ending ball of friggin' fun.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is Ironic! And why do you want to keep them in the pen anyway? Clearly they are old enough to fend for themselves. And the also know where to come back for the food. I think you've created a HUGE monster, and now you will NEVER get rid of them, and Elmer WILL be out there trying to run them off.
ReplyDeleteDear Sweet Elmer. What would we do without him???
But they're so darn cute...
ReplyDeleteAnd I am so glad they are in YOUR backyard. :)