Adam came home from school the other day and said, "Mom, all the kids are talking about the world is going to end in 2012.""HUH?" Where have I been? Got to looking it up on the Internet - I LOVE the Internet! and found that the ancient Mayans declared that the world would end on December 21st, 2012. So, I started thinking, what would I do if I KNEW the world was going to end in just 5 years? Here's my thoughts - and I'd love to hear yours - on your own blog or mine - whatever blows your hair back.
First - I'd find that property to build our family commune and take you all. I hope you'd all come willingly - I would want to have to use force. I wouldn't make any payments on it though - hopefully, it would take 5 years for them to evict us...
Then, I'd start digging a REALLY big hole for all of us to crawl into on December 20th, 2012. We'd be the only survivors.
I'd also find Claude Dallas. I'd tether him to the ground out in the middle of frickin' nowhere so that no one could find him. I think I'd do it in Canada so the grizzlies could kill him off while he's tethered and can't run.
I'd take all of you on all kinds of vacations - put it on the charge card and not pay for any of 'em.
I'd find a camel - and ride it.
I'd have parties for all my family and friends - every weekend! Put it all on my charge card - and not make any payments.
I'd have Ival quit work and Adam quit school.I'd go to the ocean - and swim with the dolphins.
I'd ride the train to Vermont.
I'd buy pot - and smoke it...
I'd quit caring about my wrinkles.
I'd quit shaving my legs. HA! Big joke! I haven't shaved my legs in years! HEY - it's not that bad! Once you go through chemo and menopause - you're hair just doesn't grow back like it was.
I'd shave my head. Believe it or not - there's a sense of freedom there that you just can't explain.
Ok, I could go on and on - but what would YOU do?
Oh and the world was supposed to end in 1984....and 2001...and probably tomorrow, according to somebody somewhere. But what the heck, I'll play along.
ReplyDeleteIn no particular order (except the first one):
I'd quit my job and have David quit his.
I would take my family (ALL of you) to some tropical island for as long as we wanted. We'd eat fresh mangos for breakfast, spend each day snorkeling, and get massages on the beach under the coconut trees.
Speaking of massages, I'd hire my own personal masseuse who would be at my beck and call.
I would buy Anna a horse, and one for myself so we could ride together every day. Hell, I'd buy the entire Red Horse Mountain Ranch.
We'd go to Africa and see all the animals.
I'd spend more time with my girlfriends.
I'd learn to speak Italian.
I would go buy a convertable of some sort, probably a VW, and we'd drive across the country with no agenda whatsoever. Just to see as much as we could.
I'd take flying lessons. I'd take up paragliding.
I'd go (with Anna and David, of course) live somewhere in Europe for a year (preferrably a villa in Italy's wine country).
I'd sing in public, pretending to be the next Patsy Cline, and not care if anyone laughed.
I'd have the most gorgeous shoes and not give a damn if I ruined them.
I'd eat the most fabulous Italian food every single day and have ice cream for dessert, and not give a damn if I got fat.
I'd make sure that everyone that I love knows it and feels it, every day.
Wait, there are several of yours that there's nothing stopping you from doingn:
ReplyDeleteShave your head. Why the hell not? You really were cute with a shaved head.
You could go through Vermont, by train or car. That's easy. (But, I realize, not necessarily cheap.)
Buy pot and smoke it. Again, why the hell not?
Ok, I'll buy pot and smoke it if you'll sing in public like Patsy Cline, and not care if anyone laughs. Deal, or no deal?
ReplyDeleteActually, from what I understand, part of the reason they say the world is supposed to end in 2012 is because that's when the Mayan calendar ends - I heard a lady say "Oh shit! I think we only have a couple of months left - my calendar ends on December 31 of this year!"
I like all of your plans, except shaving your head. I couldn't watch it the firt time and couldn't again.
ReplyDeletehmmmmm, this takes a lot of thought.
I'd get all our family on the BEST cruise ship and we'd sail around the world, stop at Kate's island and enjoy !!!!
Get a painless facelift and makeup tatooed on so I wouldn't have to wear makeup again
Buy a yellow convertible with white interior and top, ----THAT would blow my hair back !
Ride the train across lower Canada, all the way, loving those elegant hotels along the way, and the gorgeous scenery, go to New York City at Christmas time to see the Rockettes to their Christmas show.
And there must be more, but that's a start.
And Kate's last thought----implant permanently in my loved ones' minds how much I love them and need them in my life.
Deal.
ReplyDeleteBut first I might need to smoke some of your pot.
Hmmm, the first thing I'd do is climb out of the rut that was my fake life for the past 20 years. Because life could be gone in 5 years, 2 years, 15 years... who knows.
ReplyDeleteI'd move out of Boise, to somewhere green and lush, close to the ocean so I could go anytime but not have to live in constant rain. I'd take my daughters with me, but they may not stay.
I'd try my dammdest to make sure our family commune was in this lush, green location so we could ALL enjoy the ocean, without constant rain.
I'd buy a sail boat and learn to sail.
I'd quit my job and travel, maybe to Africa. I'd drag as many family members as would go.
I'd volunteer on an archeological dig.
I'd get a BIG sailboat, and take the family sailing the Pacific, up the inside passage to watch the orcas.
Then we'd sail down to Fiji and then to Australia.
We'd sail the Mediteranian and see Greece.
Hmmm, I'm thinking we'd need an arc, or a cruise ship....
I'd read more, sing more, dance more.
I'd quite wearing make up.
I'd watch birds and wildlife more.
I'd love on my family constantly, and make sure they ALWAYS knew how I felt about them. Because life is NOTHING without them.
I'd try to live each day like it was our last.
ummmmm, Lala, your first two you've already done, or are you in a time warp? I had to go back and make sure it was from you. But I'm lovin' everyone's ideas !
ReplyDeleteAmmendment: it would be a huge honkin' Cadillac convertable, circa 1950's or 1960's. With a back seat big enough to sleep in if we wanted. We'd go to Graceland and the Grand Ol' Opry.
ReplyDeleteI'd wear fabulous vintage dresses every day with sunglasses and bright red lipstick.
I'd buy mom an adorable puppy, put it in the driver's seat of a bright yellow convertable (with white top) ring the doorbell and run like hell.
Oh, and I'd pierce my nose.
HEY, I WANT TO PIERCE MY NOSE TOO! LET'S DO IT TOGETHER NEXT TIME YOU'RE HERE!!!!! I'M SERIOUS! I LOVE LISA'S LITTLE NOSE THING - IT'S NOT AN EARRING, OR A NOSE RING - OH WELL, WHATEVER IT IS - IT'S SO CUTE!
ReplyDeleteOh my god, that's too funny, because Linda and I have discussed doing it next time we're together too!!
ReplyDeleteI figure there's safety in numbers; there's no way mom can disown ALL of us, is there??
I'm serious: let's do it.
Who knows, maybe mom will join us. Ok, so we'll take a road trip and get our noses pierced - have you ever wanted a tattoo? I have - a little one.
ReplyDeleteYour girls are wild! Nose piercings and pot?? You go, girls! Sheri
ReplyDeleteYOU HAVE A TATOO??? Where? What?
ReplyDeleteSheri - it's called "mid-life crisis". I don't know how we're all going through it at the same time though...we're 42, 48 and 49.
You know what they say: "Wild women don't get the blues!"
49? Honey, I'm 51 - thanks though. NO you idjit, I don't HAVE a tattoo - I WANT a tattoo - a small one.
ReplyDeleteSheri - you and Sue can join us for nose piercings, tattoos, pot, and a road trip. K?
Throw some vodka and bud lite in and we're with you! I had my eyes tatooed...love, love, love it! Sheri
ReplyDeleteI know just the place that will pierce your nose with a stud instead of a ring. I've had my nose pierced twice now, the first time with a ring and the second time with a stud. I LOVED IT before my nose surgery and had it for several years - you can still see the dent. Then I pierced it after my nose surgery but it didn't really fit with the new nose. IF YOU PIERCE YOUR NOSES I HAVE TO BE THERE!
ReplyDeleteI'll get inked while you get pierced... hee. :) Or heck, I'll get something else pierced...
Ok, I'll bring the pot, (I do live in Oregon now...) and we'll get our little nose studs!
ReplyDeleteHow fun!!!!
When's the next time Kate and I will both be in town there???
Consider it done Sheri! I was thinking, wouldn't it be fun to get all of us adult girls on a road trip and say, every 100 miles, do a Chinese fire drill so that we mix up who's riding with who! We have GOT to plan something like this - maybe next girls weekend next spring! Not go and stay somewhere like we usually do, but just get in the cars and drive and see where we end up!
ReplyDeleteGee, I was going to add one more thing and then I read =------18 comments. Look what you started, Jodi !!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy addition is: IF I went to Italy, it would be to Tuscany, which I loved when I saw the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun"---
And, I guess I will be a lonely little petunia in an onion patch with all of you having nose piercings !
You know what will happen,---you'll be stopped at security at airports, during an MRI, faces will be slammed up against the wall, noses twisted and flattened etc. adnauseum.
first id want to join your family
ReplyDeleteid pass on the nose ring but id smoke the pot with ya
id like a midnight blue corvette
id also like a new puppy
id want my only grandson with me
actually i want a whole litter of puppies
id want a supply of candy
Well anonymous, whoever you are, you sound like enough fun to me that we'd love to have you join the family. And, since this original post was made, we've purchased that property just a mile from where we live now! See you on 12/21/12!
ReplyDelete